The Illinois HS XC Journal - August 24, 2020

Blog #1: Where do we go from here?

By Michael Newman

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I was just trying to stay busy on the morning of July 29. The IHSA Board of Directors were meeting to decide how high school sports would look in the state of Illinois in the 2020-2021 school year. A year where we were still fighting against the COVID-19 virus looking for some kind of returning back to normal.

I was told by a co-worker the day before that chances that Illinois would have a cross-country was 80% for, 20% season done. My thoughts were 55/45. I just did not know what to think. I was still in a thought pattern that was fluid, just like everyone else in the United States. Things were going to change like flipping a light switch. I just knew that I did not want to feel like I did in March.

Sports had closed down after March 11. All I did on Thursday the 12th was watching social media. I was hearing things like we are going to try to have a meet that changed to our meet was cancelled. I kept extremely busy this weekend and stayed away from social media. I also had to come up with a business plan. The sooner the better I thought in having it sent out by Monday morning. Everyone agreed and we went from there.

The thought that kept going through my mind that was the track season was over. Coaches were sending me e-mails on ideas on how they could have a meet. There were so many ideas that were put on social media. I was hurting for these kids that I spent the spring, summer, fall, and winter covering what they did. I just wanted to say this is it. But how do you say that in a nice way. The only answer I could come up with. I hurt inside for these kids that would not be able to run in a state meet or to complete their senior season.

I am the Master of Social distancing. I work from home. During a regular year, I get so busy that I do not venture out of my place for days at a time. I would read stories of people of having problems working from home. It was just a normal thing for me.

I was social distancing physically. I was also social distancing with my words. I vowed to myself I would stay positive. If I could not express myself nicely, then shut up. I was not going to pour out my feelings every day. No expressions of a loss of being at an event. I was told by a friend – “You miss being at a meet don’t you?”

Yes and No. Did not miss all the physical standing for six hours. Did not miss parents asking me questions. Did not miss getting pelted by rain. Did miss kids crying after a race either from a bad race or performer better than they ever had before.

So when noon came around on July 29, I told myself no more rollercoasters please.

I had written something that I would publish. I just had a gut feeling. I had written down a couple of questions that I would send the IHSA assistant director Kraig Garber after the IHSA made the announcement. Governor JD Pritzker release of sports guidelines gave me some hope. Just like on March 12, social media outlets had taken me prisoner. I was just waiting.

I just did not want to revisit those thoughts I had in March. I could not do it for myself. I could not do it for all the kids that I saw on the Prairie Path near my home running together trying to find normalcy. Please not again.

I made up my mind at the beginning of April that I would finish all of my cross-country seasonal research. I had my rankings completed by mid-June. Would I need those facts? Why did I do it?

It is always good to stay prepared.

It was a sigh of relief that just before 3:00 PM that the IHSA brought out their plan. I was sending out e-mails to coaches, sending an e-mail to Kraig Garber. I was just trying to organize my thoughts.

Where did we go from here?

I would write previews. With the IHSA still not saying if we would have a state series including a state meet, my plan was to write a preview hoping there was a state meet but having the purpose of honoring these kids. They would have a season, but not what they had planned. I had questions for 350 coaches ready to go. It did not make sense to send them out at the beginning of July. Once it was announced we would have a season, that was my okay to go ahead.

One of the things that I had learned about myself again, or maybe it was boot to the head to do it, was learning to be patient, learning to go with the flow. I set so many goals and deadlines for myself. This period from March until now taught me patience again.

I had set a goal of August 18 to start publishing my season previews. The week before my self-imposed due date, we had a huge storm hit the area where I live. In fact, a tornado hit a half a mile from where I live. No power for three days.

Take a deep breath. Tell myself I will get it done, just not on that date. I finished it on August 19. I finished publishing it yesterday.

There were times last year at cross-country meets I got over stressed. It happened some years when I was writing these 12 previews. This year I treasured the moment. I enjoyed every word that came to my mind. The 12 previews produced over 115 thousand words. I should have been tired after this was all done. That joy erased that tiredness.

When doing that writing, I was trying to figure out what I missed the most. For a month, I was looking for that answer.

I got up early on August 17 at 5:00 AM driven that I was going to get closer to the finish writing on this day.

At 6:15, my text went off on my phone. It was York Boys Coach Charlie Kern:

“We are having a 3200m time trial in 30 minutes. You are welcome to come.”

I hit okay on my phone. I took a shower, brushed my teeth, put on clean clothes, ran to my car in five minutes. I am lucky that I live 10 minutes away from my old school.

I got there just in time. It was good to see the coaches. It was good to see the team. Those things I did not treasure the most.

The first lap of the time trial I just watched the runners flying past me. Runners in groups, their breathing in unison. The sound of spikes hitting the ground making some kind of tune that I had heard on the radio in years past. It was those simple things in running that I had experienced when I was on a team.

Those were the things that I had missed the most. Those simple things.

We may not have those monster meets, the major invitationals, or a state meet. It might be that the one things that cross country will bring to us are the simple things that have been hidden from us through all of these difficult times.

I am going to my first cross-country meet today. My first meet of any kind since the beginning of March. It feels like the first meet I ran in the fall of 1976. It is a controlled anxiety filled with the joy of racing.

So this is where I go from here.